


It Makes Me Ill (To See My Older Brother Pining Over a Guy in a Boy Band)

by orphan_account



Series: LARGER THAN LIFE [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-04
Updated: 2012-07-04
Packaged: 2017-11-09 03:33:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/450780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Madge Hale knows her big brother Derek's deepest darkest secret. And it has to do with a boy band and a singer named Stiles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Makes Me Ill (To See My Older Brother Pining Over a Guy in a Boy Band)

**Author's Note:**

> I should probably be working on Mischief Makers or the Dollhouse 'verse…but this is totally not my fault. The Teen Wolf fandom took over my brain, and then I was chatting with [Frank](http://dogsnameisfrank.tumblr.com/) about not understanding boy bands and somehow this happened. Idek, man.
> 
> So, I blame her for this fic. Or dedicate the fic to her. I'm not sure which yet.

Madge Hale is ten years old but she’s not a kid. She knows she’s not a kid because she’s smarter and wiser and generally more awesome than all the kids in her class. (She’s also not a cub, no matter what Derek and Laura say, because she’s totally a big wolf now). She’s very mature for her age, is what she’s saying. For example, she’s not all googly eyed for the boy band all the girls in her class are squealing about. _Pffft, Teen Wolf, like they know anything about werewolves,_ Madge snorts as her classmate Sasha walks by in a bright blue shirt emblazoned with a full moon looming behind Jackson, Danny, Boyd, Scott, and Stiles.

Madge is actually pretty disgusted that she even knows the ‘singers’ by name but she’s pretty observant. She can’t help but know this information when it’s all the girls talk about at school. It doesn’t help Derek totally listens to them all the time. Madge caught him singing along to Teen Wolf on the radio. She sneaked away before he realized she was there. That would have been enough to give her the best blackmail material ever (even better than what Laura has on Derek!) but she knows something even more embarrassing. Because, if it weren’t bad enough that oh-so-adult-at-seventeen-years Derek loves Teen Wolf, he has googly eyes for Stiles of Teen Wolf.  


So, yeah, Madge is totally mature for her age, but nobody outgrows sibling rivalry or blackmail. She’s just waiting for the best opportunity to use it.

~*~*~

“All anyone in class ever talks about is Teen Wolf,” Madge huffed from the backseat of her big brother’s car. “And they’re all pretending to be werewolves during recess. They can’t even growl properly!”

Derek snorts. “You know humans don’t have the vocal chords for growling.”

“Don’t defend them!” Madge protested. “Especially since I know why you’re doing it.”

Derek smirks, flashing fang. “I’m a nice guy. Protector of the weak, defender of—"

“Stiles’ virtue?” Madge cuts in, and laughs when Derek nearly swerves into a lamp post. Derek’s eyes flashed blue as he glared at her through the rearview mirror. Madge smiled sweetly.

“I,” Derek started, voice grating under forced calm, “Don’t know. What you’re talking about.”

“Of course, brother,” Madge chirped happily. Suddenly, Derek makes a sharp turn and parks them in the old abandoned gas station at the outer reaches of the Hale lands. It was definitely far enough to avoid the pack’s enhanced hearing. 

Derek exits the car and gestures violently for Madge to do the same. Primly, Madge steps out of the car and closes the door much more gently than Derek’s aggressive slam. She leans against the Camaro, completely unaffected by Derek’s looming. Derek’s eyes flashed blue again, this time accompanied by a frustrated growl (Madge gave that growl a 7.3, he still couldn’t match Laura’s growls when she’s angry).

“What do you know.” Derek demanded. Sometimes Madge wonders if Derek missed the day in school where they taught proper punctuation. It would explain a lot about Derek’s social behavior.

Madge shrugged. “You know all the words for ‘Howlin’ for You.’ And I know you have a scrapbook filled with magazine clippings and pictures of Stiles. There were hearts. It’s super embarrassing. Where’s your werewolf pride?”

She made a point to not mention that he has a pretty good voice, though. That would take away from the moment: Big Bad Derek blushing like a schoolgirl, claws extending and retracting as he lost his cool and tried to reclaim it. She waited him out until his eyes stopped glowing and the fangs were put away. Then she decided to tease again, because, really, what was the point of being the littlest sister if she didn’t torment her big brother?

“I’m sure Laura and Uncle Peter would like to know. It’ll make Christmas shopping for you easier on them. We can try to find a Stiles shirt for you! Oh, _wait_ , they only have those in girls’ small.”

“Shut up! You’re not going to tell anyone, understand? Or I’ll—”

“See, you were a lot scarier before I knew you were pining after someone in a boy band.”

Derek’s shoulders slumped, anger leaving in one great swoop. Madge pushed down a grin, instead keeping a small condescending smirk (that she learned from Derek, though she’s not going to admit that to anyone). If Derek was in wolf from, his tail would be tucked between his legs. 

“What do you want?” Derek muttered. Madge shrugged.

“Nothing right now. I’ll let you know when I need you,” Madge said magnanimously.

Derek scowled, but slinked back into the driver’s seat, barely giving Madge enough time to hop into the back and close the door before he was speeding them back home. During dinner that night, Madge brought up Teen Wolf as often and as meanly as possible. Laura, who was currently taking classes at the local college so that she could be close to home, went along with Madge’s jibes. 

“So they can’t sing, and half of them should never be allowed to dance, ever. But at least they’re cute, in a puppy-ish way, since they’re children,” Laura mused. Derek, who had been brooding in his chair, growled softly at Laura. Madge suppressed a laugh.

“That’s right, _little_ brother, they’re kids. Just like you,” Laura teased. 

Once dinner plates were cleared away, Madge’s favorite dessert was brought out and served. There was only enough cake for one slice per person, which was stupid because Madge believed that there should always be an unlimited supply of German chocolate cake for her. She sighed mournfully.

“I worked really hard today on not wolfing out at everyone who squealed about that stupid band. I deserve another piece of cake. I mean, even at home I have to put up with--” With a loud clatter, another plate holding delicious cake was shoved next to hers by a scowling Derek.

“I’m not hungry,” Derek muttered. “May I be excused?”

Derek was out of his chair and halfway to his room before Mama had finished excusing him. Madge allowed herself a squeal of joy over the cake. 

“Thank you, Derek!” she said sweetly. 

Cakes, unlike boy bands, are worthy of happy squeals.


End file.
